FINAL BLOG POST OF 2023!

Happy Holidays, my fellow readers! Today is the last day of 2023, so before I go, here's a message I made:

"This year was nothing of utmost dissapointment and tragedy. While we were introduced to some amazing shows such as Kiff and Bossy Bear, their debuts were overshadowed by dreadful tragedies, events, and content farms indie animation such as the ongoing Israel-Hamas war, the war in Ukraine, Donald Trump's mugshot, Taylor Swift's rise to power, the release of that terrible Little Mermaid remake (I'm not hating on it because of Haile Bailey, SHUT UP) and internet disasters such as Skibidi Toilet and the Amazing Digital Circus, as well as the deaths of some beloved celebrities such as Marty Croft, Bob Barker, Burt Young, Tom Smothers, Paul Rubens, Harry Belafonte, Norman Lear, Matthew Perry, and many more amazing people who sadly left us this year. Although this year ended on a grim note, I am gladly still able to wish all of you the very best. Here's to a happy 2024 for everyone!"

Yeah. That's the message. Happy New Years, everyone!

"The Rocky & Bullwinkle Show" review

Hello there, fellow readers! Today, I'm going to review what is perhaps my most favorite TV show of all time...

THE ROCKY & BULLWINKLE SHOW!

What's even more appropriate about this review is that today is the show's 64th anniversary! Let's get started, shall, we?

The Characters

Rocky the Flying Squirrel

 One of the show's two main characters. Rocky is an all-American boy in the form of a squirrel who's a lot smarter than Bullwinkle. He still falls for Boris & Natasha's disguises.

Bullwinkle J. Moose

 The most popular of all the characters who appeared in this cartoon, Bullwinkle is a very stupid moose who happens to be Rocky's sidekick. He also happens to carry much of the show's adult humor (the earliest instance of which that I know of in a G-rated TV show other than The Flintstones). In fact, Bullwinkle was so popular that he even got a balloon for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in 1961 (which ended up being used for a total of 26 times between it's creation in 1961 and it's retirement in 1983).

Boris Badenov

 One of the show's two main antagonists. Boris is a Pottsylvanian spy who takes orders from a dictator. He also has a tendency to come up with some crazy disguises (e.g. a fortune teller in the Jet Fuel Formula story arc, a hillbilly in Missouri Mish-Mash, and a movie director in The Last Angry Moose).

Natasha Fatale

 Boris' sidekick. According to a special feature of a DVD boxset, she was allegedly born to Axis Sally & Count Dracula (of all people). Like Rocky, she is smarter than Boris.

Fearless Leader

 Boris & Natasha's leader. Fearless Leader is the dictator of Pottsylvania and criticizes the incompetence of almost every single one of his minions (especially Gerald). In Missouri Mish-Mash, he, along with Boris Badenov, attempt to steal the Kirward Derby, a hat that grants the power of ultimate knowledge to anyone who wears it. He shoots Boris Badenov at point-blank range off-screen in the series finale.

Mr. "Big"

 Fearless Leader's boss. Mr. Big (despite his name) is an extremely tiny man who only appeared in two story arcs. He bears a strong resemblance to series creator Jay Ward.

Gidney & Cloyd

 Aliens from the moon. Originally, they were evil moon men who tried to steal Rocky & Bullwinkle's rocket fuel.

There are numerous other characters who appear in segments of the show, but I can't name them all here. All I can assure you is that Tennessee Tuxedo & Underdog are not among them.

The Episodes

Each episode of the Rocky & Bullwinkle show is 22 minutes long. They each have that amazing charm of humor to each one that makes me feel warm inside. Now, here's my biggest complaint about this cartoon.

THE BUDGET.

Why, you ask? Just look at Boris & Natasha's designs in the very first episode!

Another example of how bad the animation is when in the 2nd episode, Gidney & Cloyd's character designs change WITHIN THE SAME SCENE! Even after the show moved to NBC in 1961, it still suffered from occasional animation errors (such as mouths popping on and off characters). That's the end of my main criticism.

MY RATING: 9.9/10. The show would have been 1 point higher if it wasn't for the horrible animation. Regardless, it is still my favorite TV show of all time.

Tommorrow's Pioneers Review

Hello again, my fellow readers! This is going to be my first live-action TV review! 

Unfortunately, we're going to be talking about something that is relevant to today's events.

Let me tell you right here and now. There will never, and I say NEVER be a TV show that will EVER come close to being even romotely as bad (if not, even worse) than Tommorrow's Pioneers. This is BY FAR the most vile, disgusting, and laughingly bad TV show I've ever seen. It's among all of those rare and obscure TV shows like Captain Kangaroo and or Bunny Maloney or whatever, but Tommorrow's Pioneers, as rare and obscure as it is, you watch it once and you're haunted for life.

Okay, that's enough quoting AVGN for today.

Let's just cut the shit. This evil TV show was broadcast in Palestine from 2007-2009, and consisted of terrorists in mascot costumes telling stories about how bad Islam is. This show was so bad that even Google wouldn't even let me show an image.

Now, what I'm saying so far is most likely going to make all of those Palestine supporters very angry, and I understand why. Israel has been doing so many awful things to Gaza that I can't help but feel extremely bad for that country. On the other hand, however, Israel's president is so stubborn that he even rejected a ceasefire order by Hamas! However, I don't like talking about this stuff, so I'm just going to stay neutral for now, but keep in mind that this show was created before this current war, so I'm raging about something that was only relevant about 15-17 years ago.

Conclusive thoughts

I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY AIRED THIS SHITFEST ON PALESTINIAN TV! It should have been ILLEGAL for them to air this rotten shitload of putrid f**k on any station! I feel horrified to live on the same planet as somebody who was part of making this miserable Hamas-induced nightmare of this magnitude!

MY RATING: 0.2/10

Sidekick Review

Hello there, fellow readers! As you may already know, I usually have nothing but good things to say about cartoons.

Well, this one might be one of the very few times where I actually DESPISE a cartoon.

This time however, we're going to talk about a shitty Canadian cartoon that goes by the name of Sidekick.

Don't let this image fool you. This show is even worse than Teen Titans Go (a show that I'd actually rather watch than this awful pile of steaming goat shit).

And before you ask, yes. I have watched this series. You wanna see why this cartoon is lackluster? You wanna see how much this show super sucks?

Almost every single goddamn character in this show is EXTREMELY unlikeable. Let's go over them, shall we?

The "Characters"

Eric Needles

One of the only 2 likeable characters in this cartoon. He's the main character who constantly gets treated like shit in almost every single episode. He has a crush on Vana Glama (who is an extemely one-dimensional 12 year old), who unsurprisingly also treats him like shit.

Trevor Troublemayer

Eric's "best friend" who is one of the worst examples of a Karma Houdini I've ever seen. He constantly gets Eric in trouble for shit that he didn't even do! The reason for this is unknown, but in one episode he stated that he has an index finger that is constantly pointed to at other people. He likes doing evil things, which dosen't even make any f*cking sense because he goes to a school for SUPERHEROES!

Vana Glama

Quite possibly the most fetishized character in the show. No, seriously. When I was looking for a clean PNG image of her, 90% of the image results were either fetish art or drawings featuring her in uncomfortable scenarios.

Anyways, she's your extremely stereotypical mean girl who constantly treats Eric like shit. She also has a massive crush on some Indian guy named Allan "Amazing".

Kitty Ko

The only OTHER likeable character in the show. She has a crush on Eric Needles and stalks him to the point of threatening to KILL a woman named "Mandy Struction". Other than that, she's extremely smart and was even able to replicate her dead parents in the form of animatronic robots.

Allan "Amazing"

 This guy makes me puke. Apparently, he's a 16 year old Indian prettyboy that everyone simps over for being "amazing" (just like the majority of movie studios that keep hiring Kevin Costner and Amy Jewner for being "movie stars"). He also despises Eric.

Most of the show's episodes are also executed horribly.

Final Thoughts

This show sucks, end of story. I want to nail Alan Amazing to the f***ing cross.

MY RATING: 1.9/10

Clichés I Hate - The "Everybody Laughs" Ending

Hello there, fellow readers. In today's blog post, I'm going to start a new series titled "Clichés I Hate", where I discuss overused (and VERY annoying) clichés that are used in the movies and TV shows (and video games, too!).

Our inaugural episode is going to be about the "Everybody Laughs" ending, which has been used in TV shows since the 1960's and has shown NO SIGNS of going extinct anytime soon.

Why I hate this cliché: IT'S OVERUSED AS F**K AND IS NOT FUNNY AT ALL!

First off, almost every TV show that has this ending is either some old sitcom, or some shitty 30-minute toy commercial-sorry, I mean preschool show, and the jokes preceding it are some of the corniest excuses for "dad jokes" I've ever seen in a big-budget Hollywood production. For example, I've put on a mock parody script of what happens during one of these endings:

"Well, team, we finally saved the day and put that gosh-darn villain behind bars!"

"I guess you can say that all's well that ends well, or, all's well that ends SWELL!"

"Hey! I came up with a way more funny joke than that one!"

(everybody laughs)

Here's another ending:

Well I'm glad that monster situation is over with!

(Scary sound pops up)

Uh oh! What's that?

(It's just a little tiny, stupid, F*CKIN' bee!)

(Everybody laughs)

Probably the worst offender for these shitty endings is none other than PAW Patrol, and none of the "jokes" that preceded these endings were even funny at all! Have these guys EVER looked at some old comedy skit and managed to sneak in some comedy? But NO, we just get jokes such as "If you need a lift, just call a liftee!" (i forgot what it actually was lol). That one joke in particular feels extremely dull and lifeless, as if the show was written by an AI program (or a pack of monkeys) instead of a bunch of talented writers!

And THAT'S why I hate this ending. It's so bad that even other TV shows had to make fun of it!

"My Reaction to [BAD THING]" Videos Rant

Hello there, fellow readers! Today, I'm going to do another rant, but this time, it's going to be less DogsEatingDogs6-inspired  and a LOT more mature.

Anyways, today I'll be tackling what I consider to be the YouTube equivalent of all those shitty fill-in memes, which are known as "Reaction Videos". And no, I'm not going to be talking about those videos...

Yes. I'm talking about these videos.

First off, these videos are extremely pointless and shouldn't even be on YouTube at all! All they consist of are a bunch of cartoon characters saying "NOOOO" (or in worse cases screaming and whining) for 10-15 seconds and that's it. What's even more ridiculous is that these videos are used for some of the most minuscule things you could ever f***ing imagine! No joke, according to the Trashy Vyond Videos Wiki, there was one instance of a YouTube user using clips from The Loud House and BFDI (of f***ing course) every single time November ended!

Not to mention, the people who make these shitty videos can be extremely hypocritical at times. Say, for instance, when something bad happens, one of these users will use a clip from Everyone Knows It's Bendy (which I'll review sometime in the future), even though they hate that episode (they probably never even watched the damn thing). If you know you hate that episode, why the hell would you even use a clip from it in the first place?

Oh, and before I go, I'm going to tell you a story.

When I discovered that Uberduck got rid of every single one of its voices and replaced them with generic royalty-free TTS models, I searched for answers as to why they did this. Unfortunately, as I kept scrolling for answers, I was bombarded with all these crappy "mY rEAcTiOn tHaT uBeRdUcK gOt RiD oF aLl ThE vOiCeS" videos. I was understandably extremely pissed off.

In conclusion, these videos suck, end of story. I want to nail the entire Go!Animate community to the f***ing cross.

"A Gross Worm" Review

I have returned once again after a long hiatus! Anyways, today marks one year since I've started recording various movies & TV shows on VHS & DVD, and to honor that occasion, I'm going to review the very first TV show episode that I ever recorded on VHS, which is an episode of We Baby Bears titled "A Gross Worm". Let's get on with it!

The Episode

Just like any We Baby Bears episode, it starts off with the box arriving in a new universe. However, as soon as Panda takes a ridiculously cute selfie, an ugly worm appears on his head. And seeing that this episode deals with a rare species, that's where Unica comes in.

I have a bad feeling that there's going to be Rule-you know what? I'm only delaying the inevitable.

As you see in this screenshot, Unica warns Panda that if he were to detach the worm to his head, then it would trigger a deadly defense mechanism and would eventually die.

After a very boring series of events, the gang finally gets to the worm hive, only for it to be completely deserted. It is at this point that an enraged Panda finally snaps and starts screaming.

Damn.

After this outburst, the episode soon cuts to one of the strangest dream sequences I have ever seen.

Yeah. A worm eats a dog in this sequence. This is probably the closest thing to vore that I've ever seen in a children's cartoon.

Eventually, Panda detaches the worm and it starts to flood the whole goddamn hive, only to reveal a bunch of babies and a butterfly. After that, the gang celebrates and the episode ends. I rate this one a solid 8.5/10.

Isn't that just beautiful?